>> August 29, 2012
Recently, Les spoke a series of messages from the book of Nehemiah. The topic of the week was Removing the Hindrances. As he stood behind the podium, declaring the Word of God with boldness, I doodled on my note pad in order to keep my ADD mind from wandering. Occasionally I’d jot down notes here and there around my sketched butterflies, flowers, and 3-D boxes.
One night, a word he used jumped out at me. Rubbish. Les spoke about the rebuilding of the walls and the mocking tyrants of Sanballat and Tobiah and my writer’s mind went ballistic. The image of defeated Jews staring at the pile of charred stones and rubble, listening to the barbaric taunts of their enemy, quickly changed to a vision of me standing in front of the rubbish taking the verbal beating from the bullies, Sanballat and Tobiah.
This vision came and disappeared quickly, but for days, glimpses of it have re-appeared.
Nehemiah 4:2b: “…Will they revive the stones from the heaps of rubbish—stones that are burned?”
Les is a go-getter. When there is work to be done, he isn’t afraid to jump in with vigor to achieve the task. When we were doing some yard work at my mom’s place, he attacked an extremely overgrown area with sickle, rake, and machete. I stood and stared at the jungle, gloved hands on my hips, and felt defeat at the overwhelming task even while Les was zooming through it like the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character.
When the bus suffered from severe water damage resulting in mold, mildew, and dry rot, I couldn’t visualize Les’ plans of the fully repaired product. My vision was blurred with watery eyes and runny nose while my allergies were assaulted by the millions of spores floating in the air.
I see now that when there is a pile of rubbish in my path, I tend to stand and stare in utter defeat and listen to the voice of the nay sayers. I let the ‘enemy’ whisper fear laced taunts and allow them to drift to my heart. Anxiety sits on my chest in the mornings reminding me that I am a Nobody and no amount of ‘faith’ I can muster up will matter.
Nehemiah 4:10: Then Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is failing, and there is so much rubbish that we are not able to build the wall.”
But I know who my God is. And my lack of a mustard seed is an insult to my testimony. My inability to step beside my husband, and capture his vision of the bigger picture beyond the rubbish pile to rebuild a ministry, is detrimental to his dream.
Nehemiah 4:15: “And it happened, when our enemies heard that it was known to us, and that God had brought their plot to nothing, that all of us returned to the wall, everyone to his work.”
Before I start to create mouthwatering masterpieces in my kitchen, I prefer to have it clean and orderly. Even tiny amounts of rubbish distract me and get in my way. So it is with my spiritual journey.
Today I’m taking a stand against the Sanballat and Tobiah whispers that attempt to keep me in a defeated state of mind. I’m removing the taunting rubbish, mustering up my faith, and following the dream of the Nehemiah in my life.
He just happens to be named Les.