>> January 29, 2012
I saw a quote once that said "This isn't heaven, we don't have to be perfect yet." I pondered and wondered if this was a spiritual way of saying that one could do whatever one wanted, at least until you get to heaven.
I know that isn't true, but the phrase haunts me. Too many times I have tried to be perfect only to find myself in a heap feeling like a miserable failure. Some judge me, but true friends console me. They even assure me that my imperfections are what they like about me. How crazy is that?
But how does one lead others in a faith that they themselves have doubts about? Wow, that is a mouthful. And a heart-full as well.
Almost four years ago, on an outing to Mt Rainier, I couldn't resist the temptation to make a snow angel. If there is snow, an angel must be made in it. This is my theory and I am sticking to it. The snow was anything but fresh and clean, but the temptation still egged me on.
Today I look at these pictures of the result of that temptation and see a dirty snow angel. I can't help but feel that the "little angel" that made it at times has also been a little dirty. Doubts creep in concerning what God has for me. Doubts turn to frustration that end up as depression... and the dirt seeps in.
This isn't heaven...I don't have to be perfect yet...but I must not let dirty doubt seep in and melt into the corners of my heart. Can a dirty snow angel, or the maker of one, still be used of God? Even in all her imperfections? I hope so.
Psalm 51:7-11 (NLT) Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.