Hocus Focus

>> September 22, 2010

I can't focus. I mean more than usual. I have focusitis. The symptoms? Someone who has focusitis, struggles to accomplish anything. Their mind goes blank and all creative juices have been sucked out by the focus-locust.

Don't bother trying to google it. It's so widespread and known by numerous different names...it's all too incomprehensible. There's several things that cause this awful brain debilitating disease and I have the worst one. It's like this whole grab bag mix of all forms of focusitis. The medical researchers have named this mega combo freakishness...they call it menopause.

At first I couldn't understand why they called it that, but since I'm a writer (at least an aspiring writer) I figured I'd break that word down to understand it better: men-o-pause. I've come up with the following reasons for the name.

  1. Men need to pause before they open their mouths lest their wife's foot end up there instead of their own. 
  2. Menopause sounds better than omenpause. Yet, starting the word with omen could be considered more appropriate. After all, there are many signs that lead us up to acknowledging we have this incurable disease.
  3. Men need to pause and think of all the wonderful things their wives have done for them over the (no doubt) many years of blissful marriage thus far.
  4. Since part of the symptoms of focusitis can be that you simply don't feel "wifely", this season of the disease can indicate that men may simply need to put certain areas of marriage on pause.
  5. It has been discovered that during focusits moments, women run to their girlfriends to discuss various symptoms and reactions to this disease. They often leave their man out of the loop as to what really is going on. There is an abnormal pause in their communication skills with their man.
  6. And the last reason... It seems much more natural for us women to blame things on our men. For example: when I have a total brain-dead moment, what sounds better? Oh that was a focusitis moment. OR Now that was a menopause moment. Personally, I have a thing for alliterations. (you can google that word if you need to)
Admitting you have focusitis is half the process. Treating it...? Maybe I'll save that for a different post when I have my next small symptom-free window.

4 comments so far...Care to leave your thoughts?:

Laury 9/23/2010  

This would be a funny post if it weren't so stinking true:)

Lisa Mikitarian 9/23/2010  

Hey Mari, thanks for pointing out how we're all "men"tal cases.

Joanne Sher 9/23/2010  

hehe - thanks for the giggles. And prayin.

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